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I first considered writing a book in 2001.In 2005, I realised I...

I first considered writing a book in 2001.In 2005, I realised I had to tell the story in pictures.In 2009, I started drawing.Five hundred and seven pages later, it is done.Lighter Than My Shadow will...

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THE WEBSITE IS HERE!

It feels like forever since I began working on this website. Initially I hoped to launch it and be posting regular updates as I was drawing Lighter Than My Shadow. Clearly that didn’t happen, and...

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BEGIN AT THE BEGINNING

I wish everyone would stop staring. I want to run and shout and kick and scream. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I was just trying to be good. I’m trapped, terrified and everyone’s looking at me....

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WHICH IS HARDER?

Of course there is a large gap between deciding to write a book and actually writing one. There was a gap of years: it was 2001 when I first thought of making a book, 2009 when I formally started....

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THE GREEN BEAN

The last two posts on this blog were taken from a special issue of my regular zine, The Green Bean, all about the process of creating Lighter Than My Shadow. From here the blog will take a slightly...

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BEFORE IT WAS A COMIC…

...Lighter Than My Shadow was going to be a prose book. I'd always enjoyed illustration, and indeed always wanted to be an illustrator. But I was one of those people who thought that books with...

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FALSE STARTS

This week I received the lastest dummy book for Lighter Than My Shadow, and learned that it will be the longest graphic novel Jonathan Cape have published. Even knowing how long it took to draw those...

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WHY

I talk a lot about how creating Lighter Than My Shadow was hard, probably harder than anything I've ever done including recovering from an eating disorder. I've often been asked (and often wondered...

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WHY II: STIGMA & MISUNDERSTANDING

Things like this happen. It doesn't upset me any more: I'm fortunate enough to be in a space where I can take the remark in the spirit in which it's intended. The person means I look well. It is...

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WHY III: GENERAL HAM-FISTEDNESS

Despite my experience of mental illness colouring the majority of my life, I can be remarkably inarticulate when I try to talk about it. I’ve always felt frustrated at not having the words to explain...

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WHY IV: SPEAKING THE UNSPEAKABLE

There are some things it’s just never the right time to talk about. There have been times I’ve tried, and I find myself unable to open my mouth and speak the words. I am afraid of what people might...

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WHY V: CATHARSIS?

The question I was asked most often whilst working on Lighter Than My Shadow was, ‘Is it cathartic?’ Usually with the assumption that it was, and that was why I was doing it. It’s true that it feels...

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How To Draw an Eating Disorder

I finally, formally decided to start working on my (then untitled) book in 2009 as a college project. I wanted to find a way to commit myself to getting past the false starts, and aimed to produce...

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THE BOX

In working on Lighter Than My Shadow as a college project, I knew I couldn’t tackle the whole thing. Instead I picked a few moments from different stages of the story to work up into comics, giving an...

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Yay! Help!

How I felt after signing the contract with Jonathan Cape.

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AVOIDANCE

For a long time, I dabbled. Even after signing the contract and everything becoming real and official, I think there was a level of denial. The project still felt overwhelmingly big, the deadline...

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FEARS

This post is the first in a week-long series about a writing retreat I took in January 2010, to work on the first full draft of Lighter Than My Shadow. I was afraid of being alone with all of my...

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RECONNECTING

This post is the second in a series about a writing retreat I took in 2010. Please click here if you'd like to read from the beginning. Despite my fears, what I found at the start of my retreat was...

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